I'd rather sleep now than while I'm dead
Notes on not optimising your life away
"I live in my Google calendar," says YouTuber Amy Landino into the camera, her backdrop a faux-green wall decorated with a pink neon sign proclaiming Good Morning, Good Life in italics. "I literally plan my sleep. Time is a finite resource," she later adds.1
Which is ironic, because last night I lost sleep trying to find the best, most affordable, most aesthetically pleasing weekly planner slash calendar app. I went to bed at 1am because I spent too long choosing—and this morning (time of writing), overwhelmed by it all, I gave in and paid for the pro version of calendar I was already using. So much for efficient time management.
I was summoned to the page today. Projected myself into it. 10000 thoughts I just had to write down.
Let me start by making one thing clear: I'm deep in my let's-get-a-grip-on-life era. But, big but, I find it hard to subscribe to mainstream philosophies about productivity. Unavoidably, before I can find my own way of doing things, I need to understand what these productivity principles even are in the first place.
That's why I'm reading *checks notes* Cal bloody Newport (with Johann Hari's latest book on my desk giving me the side-eye—haven't read that yet so I won't mention Hari).
But Newport, mate.... if you're wondering who he is, he's a Georgetown computer scientist and the poster guy for the "work better, not longer" credo. He's written a couple of books before the one I'm reading, including Deep Work—the one that really elevated him to educated-productivity-guru fame.2
I also stumbled across Rahul Chowdhury's blog recently (can we “stumble across” anything in our algo-curated browsing anymore?). Although he and Newport occupy two ends of the productivity spectrum, they likely share a readership. But I find Chowdhury cuts through the noise with something clearer and more compassionate. In one of his "fireside" posts, he writes:
We, humans, are far from anything like machines. The sole purpose of a machine is to power on and work until it breaks down eventually. For us humans, work is only a part of our overall life. We have hobbies, relationships, and recreational activities that we need tending to. Without these, we can only go so far before we break down and spiral into depression.3
Why this hits home is because I catch myself playing robot far too often. So much so that I once thought I should work as a "Notion consultant", which would basically mean spending 40+ hours a week offering software-specific productivity and business ops advice (I don't know how that would have gone, but I think I'm glad I've matured out of that side of me).
The pursuit of productivity, however, is bigger than personal habits and career paths. We're trapped in a system that expects assembly-line efficiency and treats us as production units rather than, you know, living, breathing mortals.
Be an active participant, never a passive listener.
Don’t stumble.
Always be one step ahead.
To be slow is to be weak. And a loser.
Google Trends tells me I'm not alone in this productivity spiral: searches for "productivity" peaked at a 3-year high in January this year. It's clear that we're all chasing the next life hack, perfect planner, magic supplement, or silver bullet that will turn us into efficient, toxin-free machines. Not necessarily because we want to, but because the alternative is falling behind in a world obsessed with performance.
Borrowing Chowdhury's words from the same blog post (with extra inflection), I think it's fucking hilarious that we invented machines to reduce our workload and enjoy more of our limited time on this planet. But somewhere along the way, we veered off course.
Remember when the hype around AI years ago promised that these shiny new tools would free us from the grind? Guess what - now we're using AI to help us methodically plan our days, including bathroom breaks. The tools that were supposed to save us time are only encouraging us to cram more work into our already packed weeks. Worse, they're widening the gap between those who can afford the latest productivity tech and those who can barely keep up (for whatever reason).
The urge to optimise is pervasive. I feel it first hand, this pressure to spring from activity to activity just to make my time worthwhile. Can't just enjoy music anymore, you should check your emails while listening. Waiting for the bus? Quick, read that interview with that copywriter you look up to (instead of that weird fiction book you really want to read—which for me is “The Master and Margherita” at the moment).
I'm up to my neck in it.
Just consider the fact that I'm running a coworking session this week and a digital decluttering workshop at the end of the month (more on both events below). Classic productivity bro stuff, right?
But here's the thing, if you knew me in real life, you'd find that I'm not that person - and I have ADHD! *puts hands up, defenceless*. Basic tasks often take twice as much energy as for neurotypical people (I'm not wild about that term, but it'll have to do) and I'm trying my best not to be swindled by "big productivity".
Going back to these events for a second, they're not about turning folks into high-performing machines, they're about offering survival strategies to overwhelmed people—that is, anyone trying to navigate a world that wasn't built to accommodate different ways of thinking and working.
That said, no productivity system lasts forever because (ta-da!) we're living, thinking creatures. The real problem isn't that we lack structure—although for some of us structure helps a lot—it's that we have turned attention and downtime into commodities. So, yes... I enjoy helping people find their footing, but I know that what I help them find is often only a temporary, sensible solution to a much bigger problem.
Today, too many people are exposed to the worst kind of productivity advice on social media. You've got 23-year-olds evangelising "reaching flow state" between sponsorship deals. Then there's "evidence-based" productivity youtubers (hello Ali Abdaal!) who track their sleep data like it's a competitive sport.4 Start-up founders promising endless focus if you'll just sign up for their programme. Or the Lululemon girlies, filming timelapses in their immaculate bedrooms with their colour-coded calendars and $1k ergonomic chairs, selling an aesthetic that bathes hustle culture in gen-z purple.
Isn't all of this absolutely mental? How is this stuff so normalized?
The productivity industrial complex (yes, I'm calling it that) has built its influence on our impostor syndrome. We're watching our climate collapse, our attention spans shrink and our mental health crumble - and, dare I say, it's all tied to this obsession with endless growth and success.
Another app isn't going to fix it. Neither is that morning routine you can't stick to. And the day you're on your deathbed, you won't wish you'd invested more time managing your calendar.
With every essay in this publication, I always try to find a silver lining. That ray of light seeping through the blinds. Even if it seems counterintuitive, that's what I do here. I do it to practice looking at the world through a different lens. And I do it for fellow defeatists like me, who can't help but be a little cynical about everything. Sure, sometimes I regret framing Not Bad this way—because I wish I could just bitch and moan and call it a day—but I do have one encouraging lesson to take away from all of this.
I think we're asking the wrong questions.
Instead of " "how can I work more efficiently?" how about "why are 12-hour workdays normal?"
Now here's my controversial advice: we need to rebuild our relationship with work from the ground up. Not just on an individual level, but collectively too. We need to learn how to slow down again. How to be unproductive for a day - or better still, a week! To stop for random chats with the friends we cross paths with. Enjoy our morning coffee. Take the long way home. And look at these not as indulgences or blessings, but as the stuff that makes us alive.
The sooner we stop sacrificing our joy for the sake of optimisation, the closer we'll be to a world that works for everyone, not just the productivity brigade.
Look, I don't claim to have cracked the code. I still find myself envying some of my seemingly super-efficient friends, wondering if I'm missing out on some life-changing secret. I still battle with giving myself permission to rest, to be non-productive, to just... be. But maybe that's why I need to write this—to remind myself as much as anyone else.
Thanks for reading so far🌻 If you're enjoying this, consider sharing it with a colleague, friend, boss, client, sister, or your hairdresser. It's a free publication, so more readers = more motivation. Even a quick DM to a friend goes a long way!
About those events
I love bringing people together. There's something special about sharing a space, doing meaningful work, and walking away with both lighter shoulders and fuller minds. It's why I've spent years putting together everything from exhibitions to talks, gigs to screenings—all stuff that genuinely lights me up.
So when I decided to weave events into my freelance work, it felt natural. And after that essay, you probably get where I stand on the productivity spectrum and why I've playfully named my upcoming series Productive(ish).
Here is what’s happening soon:
Free 90-minute coworking session (6th Feb, 3PM GMT, Online): If you think your brain’s rubbish at doing things alone... well, so is mine. Reason why I’m hosting a structured coworking session where we all quietly try to get through our to-do lists without having an existential crisis 🙃 👉 Grab a free spot
Digital Decluttering
WorkshopParty (27th Feb, 3:30PM GMT, Folkestone). Basically spring cleaning for your laptop. Perfect for those whose inbox looks like a game of Where's Wally. You'll leave with a clearer digital space, a worksheet for keeping it that way, and the kind of clarity that comes from finally tackling That Big Thing you've been putting off. 👉 Get your ticket
Good news
Mexican start-up tackles plastic waste by converting it to fuel. Their system can process 1.5 tons of plastic every week, producing 356 gallons of gasoline, diesel and other fuels. With less than 10% of the world's plastics being recycled, Petgas believes plastic should be put to good use instead of ending up as waste. – Associated Press
Two hundred UK companies sign up for permanent four-day working week. Britain’s work-life balance is getting an overhaul without slashing salaries. Economics says that if having more free time leads to more employees sticking around and staying motivated, then these 4-day work week companies will start overtaking the old ones, who will have to adapt or risk losing market share. – Good News Network
Milpamérica is a new social network for resisting the Musk algorithm. More than 74 land defenders from various First Nations have created an online space they say is free of ‘racism and neoliberal discourse,’ designed to share stories from Mesoamerican lands and their diasporas. – El Pais
Simon Usborne, The Relentless Rise of the Productivity Influencer, Vice
Lizzie O'Leary, A Sisterly Chat About Productivity, Slow Burn (Substack)
Rahul Chowdhury, Let's Not Be Machines, Hulry
Ali Abdaal, My evidence-based sleep routine, YouTube video, 12:3